Friday, February 28, 2014

everybody poops.

so we're potty training isaac henry. and by potty training, i mean, we really aren't. but we're kinda pretending to. anyway, part of this facade is that we ask him periodically if he needs to go potty. he says no and then poops in his pants. it's a great system we've got going over here.

all day yesterday, isaac henry was tooting ("e-new me" = excuse me) and making poop face. and telling me he didn't need to go. you know, per our system. but he wasn't going so that's good.

well i've been selling some stuff on varage sale. which is like a virtual garage sale. see what they did there? and i'm telling you, those folks will buy anything. i made $15 for a diaper bag. that bad boy wouldn't have brought $2 in a real yard sale. so if you're gonna be out and about anyway, ya might as well meet some strangers in a parking lot and sell them your overpriced junk. 

anyway, i had a starbucks because i was gonna be sitting in the parking lot waiting on a stranger. and i had a gift card. also, i ordered somethin' off the "secret menu" and at first they were like "we don't know what that is." and i was like "fine, iced coffee." but then they googled it while i was in line and made it for me. holla!

but then the starbucks made me need to poop. as starbucks has a tendency to do. so we got home and i went to poop. and guess who decided it was time to be potty-trained all of a sudden and tell momma that he wanted to poop in the potty?! oh yes. perfect timing being that said potty is already in use. well, i got off there in a haste and stripped that boy's britches down. hustle! there's a potty situation. and guess what just fell out right on the ground.

a turd.

and really i don't know why i felt like that was blog material except for this is real life, people. real. life.

let's just keep going. i've been cleaning out the house because the walls are closing in on me. i'm calling it the purge of 2014. and here's something.. old lingerie. what do you do with it? because i'm here to tell you, the children, they change things. specifically my hips got wider and one of my boobs got bigger and i gained a lb. or 40. and back in the day when i was getting married i had a lingerie shower where i was showered with all the lingerie you could ever dream of. i won't go into specifics, but.. the children, they change things. so i have this dilemma because i don't feel like you drop those sorts of things at the goodwill but those were high dollar "outifts"..

it plagued me for weeks. seriously. i asked many a friend what to do. and the conclusion was that it needed to be thrown away. sad day. although one friend suggested re-gifting it. proven to seduce. ha!

i really think i need to stop talking now..

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it's not what you think. he was being a "chicken"..

and now that that's all out in the open, let the weekend commence! 

7 comments:

  1. I babysit a two and a half year old precious boy, and that is exactly the potty training system we are currently using. It is working the same for us. I'm all about pushing for the Bare Bottom Method for three days, but then again, I'm not his Mommy, so that's easy for me to suggest! ;)

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  2. I laughed..so hard...Starbucks...omg..this is my favorite blog ever I'm pretty sure Lol

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  3. Thanks for makin me laugh ;-)

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  4. Oh, and the lingerie..it is very heartbreaking..but..yep..trash :/ Lol

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  5. I just did the same with some lingerie the other day. Time to quit pretending I'll wear it again. Lol

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