Wednesday, September 25, 2013

don't act ugly.

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let me just go on and say that my kid is awesome. we are so blessed. he's seriously so easy. he doesn't like it if he hurts you or your feelings and he doesn't like it when he gets in trouble. he's just really sweet and gentle and funny. kids typically like to play with him and he loves other people.

but he's almost 2. 

and he's a sinner. and he has bad moments, sometimes entirely bad days. kinda like me, which i have to remind myself. often.

so anyway, we went to the library today. just like every other wednesday. because isaac loves it. but today was a little bit different than every other wednesday. isaac was acting ugly. and not extremely ugly, but he wasn't sharing very well and he was yelling "no!" at other kids. and that's just not typical for him. so i had to have a little conversation with him, because, you know.. parenting.  

and that's when it happened. another mom. 

it was the mom of the kid isaac wasn't getting along with. isaac had tried to yank something out of the other kid's hand and was just not being very kind. so she walked over to me and i fully expected her to not be happy about isaac being kinda mean. but then she started saying, "i'm a firm believer in letting them work it out." and she went on about how her kid wasn't going to share anyway so it wasn't a big deal that isaac was trying to take the toy away. and yada yada yada. it was weird. and all i could think of to say was, "i have to teach him to be kind."

and really i have no idea what i'm doing. this parenting thing is tiring and hard and fun and rewarding. and especially weird.

but i do know what i want for my kid. i want him to think of others before himself. and i want him to be kind. and i want him to be happy for other people. and i want him to be a good friend.

so here's the thing, when my kid is having a bad day, and he's acting ugly, i'm gonna be the momma that's pulling him aside and whispering in his ear to be a good friend and obey momma. and i'm gonna be the momma that's hollering across the room "be kind!" & "think of others first!" i'm gonna be the momma that stands next to your kid and explains, "it's his turn right now! let's be happy for him! ok?!" and i'm gonna be the momma that says "her momma said yes, but your momma said no. and you have to obey."

and you can be the momma that brushes it off and says, "it's fine. they're 2." but that's just not me.

i don't really know why i'm writing this. maybe just to remind myself that i'm doing the best i can. to remind myself not to give in to the lie that hatefulness is ok, because even though that would be soooo much easier, it isn't the right thing. even if they're just 2. i have to teach him to be kind. because when it comes down to it, who would you choose, a meanie pants or someone who is typically kind? [oh good. i was worried you'd choose mad cow.]  

i'm just doing my best. i'm sure you are too.

so keep up the good work momma!

ps. that picture up there is from the other day when i offered him a juice box. which i thought was a treat, but apparently juice boxes are the enemy and tantrums must ensue. toddlerhood, like parenting, is so so complex. 


  1. Yes! That is kind of weird. Maybe she was just trying to let you know that she didn't hold it against you or something?

    At church play group this morning, another little girl kept drinking out of Claire's sippy cup during snack time and Claire just didn't care one bit. I was like, "Claire, you don't have to share everything!" So, we're kind of working on the opposite right now, ha!

  2. You know I'm right there with you...I kinda think our parenting styles are the same, just based off the things you post and how I see you handle IH at church, etc. :)

  3. I love this. I wish every parent would attach a sticker to their kid before sending them to the nursery that says either "let them work it out" or "take them aside" because I want to be consistent with whatever their parents are teaching them at home and there are as many different parenting styles as parents. You are such a good momma.

    1. oooh, good idea! I may start lobbying for these stickers!

  4. Good stuff, baby girl. I love you. Still can't believe that God trusted us to train you up and take care of you. Parenting is awesome in every context of the word.


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